Movie Review - Blood Slaves of the Vampire Wolf

Blood Slaves of the Vampire Wolf


Blood Slaves of the Vampire Wolf is yet another example of how titles can be misleading. When I first saw the name of the film, I was excited to see what was in store. Vampires and werewolves? And zombies thrown in for good measure? How much better could an independent film get? But once I sat down and saw the opening footage of the movie, I steeled myself, because I didn't want to be let down, even if I wasn't going to take that much stock in it anyway. There was a nice fluttering trash bag on a stick as a flying bat, and so I figured, "This'll be terrible."

Anyway, Blood Slaves of the Vampire Wolf has a confusing premise. A woman, whose fiance's life was taken during a car accident, visited a gypsy woman to get a potion to turn her into a vampire. I'm not really sure how this makes up for her dead husband, but it makes sense to her, and she goes about making vampire minions for herself. These include an older, obese, and hairy-yet-balding man whose love of horror spans even past mine,


a g-ma who seems useless to the plot and turns into the Incredible Hulk when she is (un)dead, and a mute who turns on his owner towards the thrilling finale of the film. The minions are, for some reason, barely used and only fulfill enough of a part to cause the plot to advance. A detective and a woman who stumbled on the first attack - a woman who uses her ample curves to her advantage with the detective (and what the director uses to keep males' attention to the movie, with her chest juggling like a circus clown) - become involved with the secret of the vampire, and track her down, finding out her real name and story. An actress named Selena, she attempts to have the detective live forever with her as her husband, since he looks a lot like her dead fiance. Does he really? This 70 year old guy gets all the ladies.

Not for the first time, I'm having a hard time finding things to point out about this indie release. Sometimes it's harder to critique the worse films, because there are more things that flop than there are to really have time to talk about. I also have to take into consideration things like the budget for the film, which I have no idea what it was. It's hard to consistently rate these indie releases, because each film feels different and hasn't been made the same.

While Blood Slaves has one of the more cohesive plots that I've been seeing in the independent films of Bite Night, it still suffers severely from lack of direction. Too many shots and scenes seem irrelevant to the story of the film to really grab the viewer's attention. Combine that with vastly differing volumes in sound and acting and it becomes quite the dull viewing. I have to give credit to both the main detective and the two hookers, who exhibited the best acting in the film, but otherwise the linereading is monotonous and stuttered, as if reading directly from cue cards.

This seems more faithful to the movie's title of Vampire Wolf.

I was quite disappointed with the misleading beginning to the movie, where we focused more on the fat man who later turns into the victim, rather than the detective, which the movie later moves on to. Too much time was spent following a rather flat character in the beginning, only to later turn out anticlimactic. While I'm at it, too many shots were held. We don't need to see the whole walk down the hallway - we'll get it if you cut away to something more interesting.

I was also dismayed by the misspellings in the movie. Personnel is spelled wrong on the door! I hope it was meant to be, because I looked down in shame from it.

The most entertaining thing about the movie for me was the quirky circus-horror music. It was fun, at least for a while - at the end of the movie, the same tune goes on for much too long. I actually had to shut this movie off because it made me so sleepy, but I came back to it. I was mildly entertained until something more interesting happened at my house, and then the movie took a backseat to it. However, it's not a bad independent story - I just wish the filmmakers went farther with it instead of writing an okay story and shooting a crappy film. I could tell the influences were there, especially with the fat man's vast knowledge and love of the classic horror films. But there was just too much that didn't work in the movie. There was only a quick explanation as to what the vampire actually was and why it was associated with werewolves, and even after that I still don't understand why the movie was endowed with "vampire wolf."

If you're interested in vampires, there are so many better movies to choose from. But if you want to watch an indie movie (for any number of reasons), this isn't the worst you could pick out of the bargain bin. And look on the bright side - it actually had vampires in it, even if there is only one or two scenes of actual vampirism.

Blood Slaves of the Vampire Wolf on Rotten Tomatoes

It's been so long!

I promise I'll have a new review up soon.
I really want to get back into my ritual of a review a day, but I'm afraid it probably won't happen.
Anyway, while you wait for my slow ass, why not vote on which movie conquers which: Fright Night, or Bordello of Blood!

Vampire Battle: Fright Night vs. Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood

Damn, I really need to get my act together, start being lazy and watching movies all the time, and then blog. It's so hard to find time on summer vacation.

Anyway, since this Vampire Blog-a-thon is still going strong (leave it to me to create a whole summer of vampire goodness, just because I'm too busy to finish the Bite Night box set), I decided I would do a new weekly - monthly - maybe yearly, post on battles between two movies.

I decided to start off with two vampire movies, going along with the blog-a-thon atmospherics.







We have in the left corner Fright Night, starring Chris Sarandon, William Ragsdale, and Amanda Bearse. It's campy, it's fun, and it follows all the rules of the traditional vampire folklore. Plus, it's about a teenager thinking that his neighbor is a vampire. A simple storyline, yet it becomes fleshed out after the audience sees what a creepy bastard Sarandon really is.






In right corner, we have contender Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood, or if you really want to sound in-the-know, you can shorten it to just Bordello of Blood.

Yeah, it's got Dennis Miller in it. There's a plus right there - the guy's comedy gold just standing around. Angie Everhart is also the queen vamp, so she brings a little bit of eye candy.

It's more of a comedy than a horror movie, thanks to the trademark Tales from the Crypt brand of dark satire, but there's some blood and guts to go around. Funny and sexy, Bordello of Blood feels like more than just a movie rendition of a TV series.





Take a look at some screens.

Fright Night
(Not compiled by me)

Those eyes just stare right into my soul. More importantly, they freak me out.

Bordello of Blood

So which vampire film sucks blood, and which one just plain old sucks? Which one will live to see the sunrise and which one will crumble to dust? You decide, via comments of course!

And before you vote, I want to leave you with two words about Bordello of Blood - Corey Feldman. Vote wisely.

GO GO GO GO VOTE!


THE VOTE ENDS FRIDAY, JUNE 27!
Unholy Christ, the ass-kicking continues. Fright Night gets 7 votes, while Bordello of Blood gets a big fat goose egg. When Friday rolls around, it seems Bordello of Blood will wither in shame. Or can it pull off a come-from-behind victory?

The Review A Vampire Movie/Talk About Vampires for An Unstated Length of Time Blog-A-Thon is underway! (Updated 6/19)

YES YES. The blog-a-thon has started, and Ghidorah over at Acheter et Entretenir Sa Tronconneuse has even beaten me to it by being the first post.

Ghidorah has been checking out some Vampire Call Girls over yonder! Give it a peek, drop some comments his way, but just remember, it's in French and this post is very NSFW. If you can't read French, there's an English translation over here.

Taliesin at Taliesin Meets the Vampires, an amazing blog that has been brought to my attention by Curt Purcell of The Groovy Age of Horror, has been delving into 99 Coffins! He says it's a page-turner!

Be sure to check out Taliesin's blog, as it has quality posts AND is all about vampires, and he will probably be getting more mentions here as well, with the blog-a-thon rolling on.






Petra over at Lil Blog of Horrors has read and written about Bloodsucking Fiends: A Vampire's Love Story, which I misread as Bloodsucking Freaks, a Troma film. Check it out, as Petra is a fantastic writer and has a blog I check on a daily basis.


Taliesin has posted again at his blog, this time pondering over how Mr. Vampire 3 encorporates vampires. Read about it, as he mentions some interesting things, even delving a little into Western cultures.

Taliesin has also posted about Mr. Vampire 4 as well, and will continue on to Mr. Vampire 5 to complete his look at the Vampires or Not movies. Check out the Mr. Vampire 4 review! Check out Mr. Vampire 5 here.
Also, check out Taliesin's post about the Gilligan's Island vampire special here!
Again, Taliesin comes through with two new vampire posts - a review of the book X Rated Bloodsuckers and a look at the Chinese vampire movie Vampire Vs. Vampire.
Check out Taliesin's post on the vampire-related Hercules episode!
NEW!!! Taliesin posted about the campy film, Santo in the Treasure of Dracula!

Nick over at Trash Aesthetics has posted his own opinion on the top 10 vampire babes, since he disagreed with Bloody Disgusting on the chicks they picked. Check it out here, as his blog is quite in-depth and interesting.

Bill over at The Uranium Cafe has joined in for the festivities, posting on Romero's Martin. Give it a look for yourself, as this is his first post in the blog-a-thon.

A fellow Tana Tea Drinker, Arbogast, has given us his views on the "bulge" in classic vampire movies. Instead of trying to explain this to you myself, why not pop over and check it out, as Arbogast writes elegantly and interestingly on the subject.

Justin over at Zombie vs. Shark has posted his first blog for this blog-a-thon, which seems to be going on and on and on and on - blame me because I haven't finished up Bite Night - where he reviews John Carpenter's Vampires. He didn't love it, but it's a little less than scathing. Check it out!

Movie Review - The Abandoned, with a look at the Abandoned premiere at the Glove

It all started out like every Friday night. Okay, so maybe not, because my friend Martin and I don't normally hang out on Friday nights, but that's what ended up happening. My mom had told me about this movie that was having a special premiere at my local theater (think acting and not movie-playing), which was called The Abandoned. If you're familiar with the 8 Movies to Die for from the Afterdark Horrorfest, The Abandoned was one of the first 8 that played last year, and I own that movie, so I thought it was going to be the same movie.

It turns out that this is a different Abandoned, an indie movie out of Utica, New York with local actors and a soundtrack from local band Split 2nd Alibi. So I got the idea to review this movie, along with the events that preceded it for the opening, for the blog, since it is a horror movie and I might as well see it to check out local talent.

I was a little late picking up Martin, so I had to book it to his house and then down to the Glove to get there before 8. We walked the wrong way to the Glove at first, then hastened our pace to get there on time. Our friend Ross was waiting for us outside the Glove, where we proceeded to buy tickets outside, just like an old-time movie theater, and then take our seats in slightly-more-comfortable-than-metal wooden folding chairs. There were a bunch of kids that I knew from local hardcore shows, and some older folks who were probably interested in seeing what these kids could do with a movie. The nu-metal blandness of the song that Split 2nd Alibi had contributed to the soundtrack was on constant loop on the DVD menu of the film, which had a picture of the cast members in their costumes, looking very Juno-esque in design.

Finally the festivities were about to start, and Mark Joseph Peek, one of the local stars of the film, made an appearance announcing the film with director Matt Peters and some of the other cast members. We first, for some strange reason, watched the video for the Split 2nd Alibi song, which I think bored everyone who either didn't like Split 2nd Alibi (myself included) or people who didn't know what was going on. It was cringe-inducing to watch the video, but finally it ended and I settled in to experience The Abandoned.

The Abandoned


The Abandoned takes a couple of used formulas and combines them together to create a rough and overall jaded and dated experience. Mark Peek plays Nate, a man who has lived most of his life in seclusion with his keeper. They have to venture out into town for supplies one day, but when Nate runs into a woman in the town that is being chased by human monsters known as the Creepers, he is thrown into toil and trouble. He fights them off, and the woman takes him underneath the city to where her people have been living since the disaster that happened 20 years ago. There are some town elders who run the city, and they eventually allow the newbies to join, although some dissent rather outwardly. We meet up with a few other people, some girls and a military-esque guy, who contribute barely anything to the plot, and coincidentally, at the same time Nate joins this underground establishment, the Creepers attack and overrun it. The team of 6 youngsters manage to make it out alive, and are on the lam, on their own, out in the wilderness. Eventually they're captured by the Creepers, though, and taken to the scientist who created him. 20 years ago when the Earth froze, the scientist designed a cure for living in the frigid temperatures (or so I think), but it accidentally makes everyone crazy. Now the scientist is crazy, as we see through Hostel-like moments, and Nate must battle him by becoming a Creeper himself. For some reason, it doesn't make him crazy and they escape, and find the magical city that will protect them. But at the end of the movie we see a creepy funeral filled with people in masks, and Nate is being laughed at, and we're left with TO BE CONTINUED...

First, I'll start out with naming off the movies that The Abandoned steals from. 28 Days Later is the first to come out, what with the serum that causes craziness in people. The ending is also much like 28 Days Later, with the victims finding survival in seclusion. Resident Evil seems to also have had an influence, though it's not verily shown in the movie. I could see many mad doctors in the evil scientist, yet since the actor who played the scientist was terrible, it didn't seem like he had watched many Boris Karloff mad scientist movies. There's also a feeling of I Am Legend/30 Days of Night, because of the theme of "to fight them off, I must become them!"

This amalgamum of tasty horror instead leaves a burning sensation to the mouth. What could have been an okay movie (not even good, just because it ripped off so many other movies) turned into a poor movie because of the lack of creativity. I would have been accepting of the copyright infringements if the movie had come up with something that no movie had done before. But it really didn't, and it came off as downright cheesy.

The story was really hard to understand at times, partly because the film was too dark, partly because the sound off, and most importantly because the characters were so flat I couldn't remember their names. At one point we're told Nate has a sister. Who? I don't know, because I don't know what the girls' names were. I couldn't have cared less if any of the characters died because of the poor characterization. Another thing that annoyed me was the fact that sometimes sounds would be muffled, or punches would sound like banging on a car. The makeup was hit or miss, sometimes being excellent and sometimes blood would look like a big blob of ketchup.

The camera moves pretty terribly as well. In action sequences, the camera fidgets around worse than The Blair Witch Project. It's hard to see anything with this paired with too much darkness.

I do have to give them credit for their work, however. It wasn't the worst indie movie I've seen, and at least most of the story was followable. The creativity level was very, very low however, and even the script, with lines like, "You should have killed me when you had the chance!," really takes the suspense out of the story. It's good for a laugh though!

After the showing of the movie, there was a Q & A discussion, but I think everyone was too disgusted with the quality of the film to stick around and ask questions. I did get one answer though, which was "What was the budget of the film?" They said it was $3000. It didn't show it.

This film probably won't be heading anyone's way, but if you see it on the shelves, pick it up and give it a viewing, so you can say, "Well I saw a movie that was made near where Ryne lives!"

Happy Friday the 13th!!!

If you see any hockey-masked men, make a quick escape.



Actually - if you see anything dangerous, make it in your best interest to get the hell away.


And especially if you see Friday the 13th - The Series, turn it off and pluck out your eyes. The devil can get you.

It's too bad I can't do a Friday the 13th blog-a-thon, because I haven't reviewed any of them yet and I have the box set of that as well. Oh well, that'll have to be saved for some other Friday the 13th.

Movie Review - Creeptales

Creeptales


I would love to find a bigger and better picture of Creeptales, but there's really none to be had, so this will have to do. It seems like this isn't very widely known, but you can watch the trailer here!

Creeptales is a collection of short horror films, probably independently produced, and they are held together by a storyline about some creepy ghoulies who, on Halloween night, set out to find the Creeptales movie that exists in their reality. They can't get it from any sensible location, so they're forced to steal the film from their uncle's grave, who loved it so much he was buried with it. Then, their friends watch it and spill popcorn all over the place. Zombie Uncle comes back from the dead, who terrorizes the ghouls until they leave, so he can watch the video by himself.

But the little plot that holds the shorts together isn't important, since each time Creeptales switches from one of the short films to the ongoing narrative, the viewer's bound to get annoyed with the inanity of the monsters. So let's talk about the actual shorts.

The film starts off on a good note with "Warped." To me, this short was the best of the movie, since it felt the most put-together and finished. It steals a lot of its source material from films like Psycho, but it doesn't really detract that much, since there's not a lot of time to build the story in the 30 minutes it's allotted. "Warped" is about a girl who goes to live with her older cousin for a while after she has gotten out of an asylum, because of adjustment of her father's death. The main girl, Elizabeth, finds out that her cousin was the reason that her father was killed, but what she doesn't realize until it's too late is that her father raped her cousin and made her pregnant, where she has kept the dead baby in the attic to take care of for years. There's not much suspense, but the way in which the film starts - right in the middle of the crazed cousin's attack - puts the viewer in the mood, and really gets the juices pumping for the lead-up to this deranged attacker.

The next short is called "Snatcher," a quick story about a punk who loves snatching old ladies' purses. One old lady seems quite feeble, but after the punk snatches her purse, she makes it clear that he won't want that purse. Turns out the purse isn't your run-of-the-mill cotton/polyester blend, and instead of the punk taking things out of the purse, it's his turn to go into the purse. Since this film's quick, I didn't get bored with it, but it was pretty predictable after the beginning purse-snatching montage that the prick was going to get what was coming to him. There was a sweet punk song, though, and the guy did have a nice coif.

After that, we get "The Closet," which made sense to be included right after "Snatcher" because of its similar subject matter, but it was a disappointment because the story has been told dozens of times, and probably done better. I can remember a Tales from the Darkside episode that came years before this film was made that had the same storyline, only done better. Obviously, it's pretty easy to guess what happens in this quick short. A boy is scared that something's in his closet, his brother comes in and freaks him out, then the brother gets eaten by the closet. It's almost the same as "Snatcher," and it's too cliched to really hold up.

"Groovie Ghoulie Garage" is next up, about two guys going into a mysterious town on Halloween night to pick up one of the guy's sister after she's been expelled from her school. The dudes get some car trouble and are picked up by a clown-costumed cop, who brings them to the nearest gas station. While the car's being fixed, they venture to a Halloween party where everyone looks a bit too near their parts, especially the owner of the garage. After their car is fixed, the guys get the hell out of there because it's creepin' out their style, only to learn that the town has been a wasteland after everyone died there years ago. This is another less-than-stellar short, as the backstory about the expelled sister goes to the wayside real quick. Also, the film's not very spooky - the makeup for the rotting garage owner is kind of nice, but other than that, the film would be suitable for teens or anyone who likes Are You Afraid of the Dark? It's funny to see a punky dude with red hair and a dangling earing being really polite and nice, which is definitely not what I expected his character to be.

"Howling Nightmare" really broke my entertainment level. I was going along fine until I watched this short, which looks EXACTLY like the hunting scene from Silver Bullet. I'm telling you, it looks like it was stolen. You know the part where the hunting guys from the town all band together to catch the werewolf that's prowling the woods? And they get taken down and all that jazz? It looks just like that, and that's what happens. Finally they take the werewolf out as he gets back to his cabin and turns into his human form, but I'd already lost interest.

Luckily, I had to stop watching the movie here for the moment, as other problems (puppy) complicated the situation, so I rejoined it on a different day for "Sucker." This short pulled me back in, taking a creepy night-visiting salesman and an evil (or good?) killing vacuum. A woman seriously has some mental problems, wanting to kill her husband, who she thinks is evil, because of some problem she has with him. He is a little wimpy, but no reason to kill, I think. She's told to use the vacuum to get rid of evil, but only for 30 seconds at a time, but she breaks the rules and becomes a fat old hag coughing up shoes and crap. The plastic fat is really well-done, and her vomiting up a shoe is actually pretty disgusting. Things turn to bite her though, as the vacuum sucks her up instead, and the salesman laughs, saying, "There's a sucker born every minute." This was my second favorite, since it felt a lot like a deleted episode of Tales from the Darkside. It had a good, original story, and followed through with it in a timely manner.

I would recommend this movie, as long as you skip over the annoying filler scenes between films. I guess they had to have some way to put the films together, but I would have rather had just the films instead of unfunny scenes that I didn't want to watch. Overall, one of the better films in the Bite Night collection, yet it still contained no vampires. Sorry about the whole lack of vampires thing. Give Creeptales a watch, especially if you're a fan of those 80's horror show episodes like Tales from the Darkside or Tales from the Crypt.

Creeptales on Rotten Tomatoes

Special Movie Review - My Super Ex-Girlfriend

My Super Ex-Girlfriend


It's been a while since I last posted, since it has been busy. Lots of mowing lawns, my work, and prom was Saturday and yesterday, so I haven't had much time to blog. Those are my only explanations.

I went into My Super Ex-Girlfriend not expecting a lot and getting a little more than I bargained for. Directed by Ivan Reitman, Uma Thurman plays superpower-charged heroine with the alias of G-Girl, known to her friends as Jenny Johnson. Luke Wilson's character, Matt Saunders, falls for Jenny as he attempts to capture her purse from a bag-snatching thief. The two plan a date, but Matt soon finds out that Jenny is a little odd. She later explains to him that she is G-Girl, but Jenny is too needy for Matt and he breaks it off with her. The good news is that he's in love with someone else - Hannah Lewis (Anna Faris), Matt's coworker and close friend. The bad news? G-Girl wants to terrorize Matt now that he's broken her heart. But G-Girl's arch-nemesis, Professor Bedlam (Eddie Izzard) contacts Matt with the ability to take away G-Girl's powers, which would stop her annoyance. Matt accepts the plan, but later learns that Bedlam wants to commit crimes with G-Girl out of the picture. G-Girl keeps her powers, along with an exploding comet drenching Hannah in superpowers as well, and they fight off Bedlam long enough to realize that Jenny and Bedlam, whose real name is Barry, are in love. Then everyone lives happily ever after, the end.

I watched this movie with my mom alone while my dad and sister were out, and it's really a movie that one watches with their mother. My mom actually thought it was stupid. Yet it's a romantic comedy with a twist, which makes it more enjoyable than other rom-coms. But don't be deceived - this comedy is kind of dumb.

The film doesn't take itself seriously, which is a good thing, because no one wants a love story to look and feel like Spider-Man. The comedy in the movie isn't too awfully funny - you might get a chuckle or two in certain scenes, but I didn't think it was hilarious. What's better about the movie is the storyline, and while not being laugh-out-loud funny, the plot is internally entertaining. A movie about breaking up with a Superwoman lady? How can it not be funny!

Luke Wilson is fun, but slightly less than stand-out. Rainn Wilson steals all of the scenes that he is in, creating most of the humorous atmosphere in the movie. I thought the parts were and odd choice for both Uma Thurman and Luke Wilson. It just didn't seem like their kind of movie. Eddie Izzard did his fair share as Bedlam, and even though he didn't seem to have a big part throughout the movie while being one of the most important plot twists, he played his character well.

I'll just conclude by saying the movie isn't the best. If you're looking for a really funny movie, this isn't the one to turn to, and if you're looking for a great romantic comedy, look elsewhere as well. The movie's entertaining for a while, although even at only an hour and a half runtime, I found myself looking at the timer to see when it would be over. It doesn't hold your attention for as long as one would like, and some of the comedy falls short or is too over the top, even for a movie about a superhero.

I did learn one thing though - Anna Faris looks terrible as a redhead.

My Super Ex-Girlfriend on Rotten Tomatoes

Movie Review - Malibu Beach Vampires

Malibu Beach Vampires


Finally, I get to a film in Bite Night that is actually about vampires. Well... sort of. Vampires play a very minimal part in this so-called "movie," which is basically just pictures and dance numbers (wait what, DANCE NUMBERS?!) shoved together to create a very non-cohesive story. This is worse than campy. This is - not a movie.

Malibu Beach Vampires, written and directed by Francis Patrick Creighton, has no followable story. It introduces characters that don't go anywhere or do anything. We get barely any convincing acting, the dialogue doesn't tell the audience anything, and the action is very low. The only way I was able to understand what was going on was because I read the synopsis on the back of the box. There are three corrupted officials: Colonel Oliver West (Rod Sweitzer), who likes the ladies and puts a bikini on the town budget (plus he also falls in love with a vampire girl who has no real part in the movie); there's Congressman Terry Upstart (Marcus Frishman) who also loves the ladies and has an affair; plus there's Rev. Fakker (Francis Creighton) who - you guessed it - loves the ladies, AND he likes to fake his religious miracles for money (get it, his name is Fakker and he's a faker? Yeah, it was a really intelligent pun). These guys do some not-so-crazy stuff, shown through unintelligible scenes that don't make sense because they're just edited in willy-nilly, and girls become vampires. At the end, everyone comes out happily ever after for the most part, blahdy-blah, did you even care to read that synopsis? Exactly.

I have one thing to say about this movie. Dance numbers. Do you like corny late-80s early 90s music resembling the theme song to 90210? Do you like annoyingly catchy surf rock numbers, where they repeat "beach blanket bingo" four thousand times and a few girls dance to it on the beach, where the song oddly doesn't really go along with their steps? Do you like music that makes absolutely no sense to the movie? I didn't think so. And this is just five minutes into the movie.

The beginning credits seem backwards. It shows the cast member, then plays a scene from the movie that we DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL IT MEANS. That's generally saved for the end credits, when we know what's going on. But in this film, we never know what's going on. I applaud low-budget directors and unknown writers in their attempts at making a film, even if it's terrible. But this is just an all-time low. If you want to make a movie, at least make sure it makes sense. This movie is just a bunch of nothing thrown together for an hour and 10 minutes to bore the viewer.


There is too much terrible stuff to actually talk about, but I suggest watching this movie as a comedy to laugh at the people who watched the film and thought it was a really good movie. Someone should have stepped in and said, "Wow, what the hell are you going for here?" The dance numbers are annoying, scenes are repetitive, vampires are few and far between, and when they do show up, they have fake plastic vampire teeth and still make no sense to the plot.

I feel bad that I'm totally ragging all over this movie, but honestly, they could have done much better. Even if the plot made just a little more sense, and they cut the singing and dancing parts, the movie could have been a little more enjoyable. But it was just and hour of suckfest that I can confidently say will remain unplayed after this experience.

Let me give you a taste of what the majority of this movie was.



I don't even remember that in the film. But it's cohesive with all of the movie. That's exactly what happens for an HOUR! Please, please - if you watch this movie, have a gag bag ready, as you'll need it to throw up in after laughing (or maybe the terrible bland taste of the movie will make you sick).

Look out for the Drunken Severed Head!

I just wanted to give a shout out towards Max the Drunken Severed Head's blog, where he has posted a nice interview with actor David Patrick Kelly, known for his role in The Warriors. You should check it out, and not be discouraged by Max's less-than-perfect body - keep in mind he is a severed head.

This plug is placed for a couple reasons.
1. Max's blog is great, hands down - ahem, no pun intended for Max, who does not have any hands.
2. My blog is looking a little barren right now. I've been a little busy, not being able to update or watch any movies because of a new puppy! that we just got. With that said, I want to say rest in piece to Sassy, my beloved dog that passed away about a week ago. I loved her, and RIP Sassers!

Now go check out Max's interview.